English. (poem)
English.
Lets face it: English is a terrible language.
There is no egg in eggplant, no ham in hamburger and nether pine nor apple in pine-apple. English Muffins were not invented in England, Frenchfries are not from france. and why isnt 11 pronounced onety one? We sometimes take english 4 granted. But if we examine its paradoxes we find that quicksand takes us down slowly, boxing rings r square and guineapigs are nether from guinea nor are they pigs. If writers write, y dont fingers fing? If the plural of tooth is teeth, shouldnt the plural of phone booth b phone beeth? If the teacher taught, y didnt the preacher praught? If a vegetarian eats vegtables, what the heck does a humanitarian eat!? Y do ppl recite at plays yet play at recitals? Park on driveways and drive on parkways? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language where a house can burn up by burning down and in witch u fill in a form in a form by filling it out. and a bell is only heard once it goes! English waas invented by ppl, not puters, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (witch of course isnt a race at all!). That is y when the stars r out the r visible but when the lights r out they r invisible. And y is it that when i wind up my watch it starts but when i wind up the story it ends? Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? Y is the man who invests all ur money called a broker? Y is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a race car not called a racist? Y are wise guys and wise men opposites? Y do over look and over see mean opposite things? if horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible? If lawyers can be disbarred and clergymen fdefrocked, doesnt it follow that electricians can b delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, modles deposed, tree surgeons debarked and dry cleane And Y is it that when someone tells u there are1 billion stars in the universe yoou'll believe them but when they tell u the wall has wet paint on it u have to touch it to make sure???
